Comics

2015-11-25

Feast of the Dead p.2

Transcript

It’s an average Saturday night on Main Street. People stroll around taking the night air, shopping, and visiting restaurants. But one group coming down the sidewalk…as they slowly approach…they’re…they’re zombies! They reach out, their mouths gaping hungrily, and the air fills with shrieks as people panic and flee.

In a restaurant, rotting arms break through a window. The couple at the table next to it run away in terror, but zombies flood in through the door. A group of them surrounds the table and with horrible, sloppy, smacking noises, devour the poor couple’s dinner. One zombie lifts a plate of spaghetti and dumps it as his open mouth. Two more hunch over a plate on the table and greedily feed. A zombie leaning in the broken window stabs a sausage with a fork.

At the counter, a dessicated corpse in a suit orders an “Extra-large…with everything…please…”. The eyes of the man behind the counter bulge with fright; he looks like he might faint. Nearby, a long-haired dead woman pours a fountain drink at her mouth, spilling half of it on her burial dress. Two zombies tear apart a pizza, and another sinks its teeth into the side of a hoagie.

Outside, the sorcerer glares at the dead as they wander around chewing hamburgers and gnawing legs from buckets of fried chicken. “This is **not** what I had in mind!” he says angrily.

But as he watches the townspeople dashing about in fear, he decides, “Well, I guess it’ll do.”

“YES!” he shouts, “RUIN THEIR DINNERTIME! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!“

Next: DESSERT OF THE DEAD (“Caaake…”)

2015-11-25

Feast of the Dead p.1

Transcript

It is night. In a cemetery, a black-robed sorcerer declares: “I will have my revenge on this town…I will bring upon them THE FEAST OF THE DEAD!”

Standing in a pentagram with candles, he chants:

Arise, O corpses long at rest!
Aid me in my vengeful quest!
Shamble forth from gravebound gloom
to bring the wretched townfolk doom!

Hands reach out from beneath the ground, and the zombified dead pull themselves from their graves and stand moaning before the sorcerer.

“We have slept so long…”

“Our hunger…is terrible…”

“You shall eat well!” cries the sorcerer. “Go into the town…and feast!” The zombies turn and shamble away as the sorcerer laughs maniacally.

2015-02-04

Winter Depression Fashion Secret

2-panel strip

Transcript

Winter Depression Fashion Secret

A woman in a bathrobe with very messy hair and bags under her eyes looks in the bathroom mirror and sticks her tongue out in dissatisfaction.

Too blah to wash your hair?

Don a warm hat and pass your bed-head off as hat-head!

The same woman enters a cafe from a snowy outside, removing a winter hat and smiling and rolling her eyes wryly at her hair as if at to say, “Winter hats, what are you gonna do?” An attractive man smiles and waves at her.

2014-10-14

House of the Rising Moon

House of the Rising Moon

Show/Hide Transcript


A man (Charles) and a woman (Charlotte) walk in the moonlight.

“Oh Charles,” says Charlotte, “I’ve had such a wonderful time tonight — and the moon is so beautiful!”

“OH NO!” exclaims Charles. “I have to go right now!”

“But why?”

“A terrible curse!” says Charles. “Every full moon I turn into a — AGH!” He doubles over in pain.

“Charles, what — ?”

“RRR — RUN! AAAAAA” Charles screams from off panel as the woman gasps in fright and surprise.

“Charles, you’re a — a — a house!” says Charlotte. And indeed, a one-story house stands in Charles’s place. She hesitates, then asks, “May I use your bathroom?”

This is all a story told by a young girl to her younger brother, who says, “Whooooaaa” in amazement. “So that’s what a warehouse is!”

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2012-06-04

Winchester School Garden p.2

Winchester School Garden page 2

Transcript

The preschool always plants peas, early enough so they can give them to the families at preschool graduation.

The first grade plants potatoes in the spring, then harvests them as second-graders in the fall.

Third grade has grown some big cabbages!

Fourth grade does a big unit on Native Americans; they planted the Three Sisters garden (corn, beans, squash).

Fifth grade planted “really funky gourds” and did a whole math lesson on measuring them and their growth.

The life skills prgram for cognitively delayed students cooks once a week, using graden produce with great results. Special educator Jane Cardinale chairs the Garden Committee, so the 30% of the school in Special Ed uses the garden a lot. “And that’s been really successful,” she says.

Pat Dorcas uses the garden for seventh-grade science, and does hyrdoponic gardening in his classes and the greenhouse. He teaches about food miles, asking students where their food comes from and how much energy it takes.

Page 2 of 4 of my piece from Sprouts, the new food-themed anthology from Trees & Hills. I’ve been wanting to do more nonfiction comics in general and especially some journalism-type comics, and for this one I finally left my cave to go interview someone – hooray! I’m already busy on another bit of graphic journalism that I hope to share soon.

2012-03-05

Experimental Hats

Experimental Hats

Transcript

1. An white-heared, bearded man in vest and glasses uses a wrench to tighten the metal straps around another man’s top hat while an assistant stands by with spare parts.
2. On an airfield, a scruffy-looking man in a jumpsuit points to the ear-flap that detached from his winter hat, while a 1950s-style man in suit & glasses uses a pocket calculator.
3. A woman in a lab coat & glasses with hair pulled into a bun holds a clipboard while looking at a machine; the machine has a large clear class tube full of liquid. A knitted hat with pom-pom floats in the liquid as bubbles percolate.
4. A man and woman in labcoat stand deep in thought, watching a machine. The machine wears a brimmed hat with bow and feather on it’s head-shaped extension and is (by design) vibrating intensely.
5. A man in a windbreaker and cap with small brim runs down a test lane, smiling until the cap suddenly explodes! As he rolls on the ground, a crew member sprays a fire extinguisher at his head while a second crew member runs up with a bucket of water. A scientist dashes over, trailing papers from his clipboard.
2011-12-27

The Procrastination Paradox

The Procrastination Paradox

Transcript

Image: a fifties-style horror comic cover (title: Tales of Torpor).

In the foreground, a silhouetted man in a fedora looks at a piece of paper in his hand with the words, “To Do Today: 1. Procrastinate” and says, “Well, I can put this off ’til tomorrow – wait – I – I -”

An evil sorcerer gestures and says, “Ha ha ha! I have trapped you in – The Procrastination Paradox!”

Whoa, color! I made this for a Christmas gift shirt.

2011-12-06

Well

Well

Transcript

Setting: Headville – a land where everyone is a head on little legs.

A Headville woman with black hair walks through the park to an old-fashioned well, climbs into it, and lowers herself in the bucket. Eventually she reaches a cavern with a tunnel or alcove in one side. She enters it, finding a glass of water on a bump of rock. She grips the rim with her lips, flips it back to drink it, sets it back down, and exits the alcove, looking satisfied. She gets back in the bucket and ascends.

2011-11-28

Noodle Wrestling Mayhem

Noodle Wrestling Mayhem

Transcript

Announcer: “Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!! Pasta Grappling Association presents NOODLE WRESTLING MAYHEM”

“Elbow Drop!” A macaroni elbow does an elbow drop on a prone ziti.
“Shellshock!” A pasta shell does a Swinging Reverse STO on a fettuccine.
“Butterfly Suplex!” A bowtie – aka butterfly – pasta does a butterfly suplex on a spiral pasta.

“Be there – for gnocchi-down drag out action!” A ravioli wearing a wrestling belt yells into a microphone while behind him two spaghetti drag an unconscious gnocchi from the ring.

This strip took more research than you might expect! Selected sources:

This comic is part of the Comics Rehab Ripoff, in which I and some cohorts post at least 4 panels every 4 days to encourage our comics groove. Follow along to possibly see some of my comics before they appear here, or better still to see the good things my companions are posting. Want to join in? Drop us a line with your email address or email me at colin@colintedford.com!

2011-10-17

Folk Gospel Pearls p.1 of 2

Folk Gospel Pearls page 1

Transcript

I enjoy old-timey American folk music, but not so much the old-timey American Christianity in some of it. Singing along to folk gospel just feels wrong to me – which is too bad, ’cause it has some great tunes! Utah Phillips said, “The Wobblies [the Workers of the World union] liked to steal the hymn tunes – ’cause they were pretty – and change the words so they made more sense.” (e.g. “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” became “Dump The Bosses Off Your Back”) For now i just draw these irreverent doodles, like an oyster making pearls in reaction to sand grit…

From THE CHERRY TREE CAROL, a song that migrated from England to the Appalachians: “Then Mary spoke to Joseph / So meek and so mild / ‘Joseph, gather me some cherries / For I am with child”

In the comic, Mary says, “Joseph! Gather cherries, for I am with child!”
Joseph, startled, says, “What?! But we haven’t even – ”
“CHERRIES! NOW!” Joseph runs away.

Later, Mary shoves cherries from a bowl into her cherry-stained face while Joseph slouches exhausted. “Mm, thank you. Mlorf.” After eating all the cherries, she says, “Ah – Urp,” then suddenly vomits all over a horrified Joseph. (“BLARF!”)

Josephs stomps away. “I’m OUT of here.”
“What? No!”

(The actual story in the song, it turns out, is Joseph refuses because he thinks Mary’s cheated on him, so fetal Jesus commands a cherry tree to bend down and give Mary some fruit!)

Here is the first of two pages I made for the alphabet-structured Hot Tea, Cold Water #3, marking the first time in a couple of years that I’ve submitted to an anthology I wasn’t co-editing. The second page, as you might expect, has more doodles from different songs.

2011-10-06

Here in the Forest p.1 (of 3)

Here in the Forest page 1

Transcript

According to an old saying, the first Europeans in America saw forests so vast that a squirrel could go from Maine to Texas without ever leaving the treetops. (A squirrel leaps from branch to branch)

They changed *that* in a hurry (The squirrel unexpectedly leaps from a branch into a recently clearcut area. An ax-wielding settler strikes a dramatic pose, crying, “Onward! For Farmland and Firewood!)

By the mid-1800s as much as 70% of the land was cleared – but with the decline of farming, much of New England’s forest returned by the late 1900s (and has started to recede again under development pressure). (An old stone wall runs through a forest)

So what’s happening in the woods these days? Hiking, skiing, sightseeing, and similar recreational activities… (A person walks along a forest road)

…and some less-similar recreational activities. (A person on a four-wheeler roars past the walker – BRAAW)

Wood is still useful, so we still log – too often still in destructive ways. (A skidder – a large motorized logging machine – sits in a clearcut area)

WOODS anthology coverHere is the first of my three pages from the latest Trees & Hills anthology Woods.

2011-06-09

A Common Resource p.1

A Common Resource page 1

Transcript

A COMMON RESOURCE copyright 2011 Colin Tedford

1. In 2001, the corporation USA Springs set its sights on Nottingham, NH, aiming to extract 430,000 gallons a day of the town’s water and convert it to profits.
[IMAGE: a tall robotic machine labeled “USA SPRINGS” strides down a curved road from the distance, toward a sign that reads, “Entering Nottingham”]

2. After initial approval from the town government, many residents objected on the grounds that the water bottling plant would drain the aquifer, draw pollutants into it, and damage wetlands.
[IMAGE: Angry protesters with signs. One speaks a word balloon containing a picture of a puzzled person turning on their sink tap and only getting a drip, and another picture of the robotic USA SPRINGS machine sucking water through a flexible pipe stuck in the ground. A man in a suit pilots the machine, and a rapidly-filling bag attached to the rear of the machine bears a dollar sign.]

3. Nottingham citizens worked tirelessly to learn the ins and outs of the regulatory system.
[IMAGE: Protesters trying to navigate a maze; the leader has a map and looks stressed.]

4. Unfortunately, they learned that the rights of corporations trump those of people, as their challenges were dismissed, or won and then overturned.
[IMAGE: The protesters, having reached a dead end in the maze, watch in alarm as the USA SPRINGS machine strides down a straight corridor through the center of the maze, just on the other side of the wall.]

Here’s the first page of my comic in WATER, the new Trees & Hills anthology. To read the rest, pick up a copy – it’s full of good comics!

2011-03-24

Wizard

Wizard

Transcript

1. A wizard performing a magic ritual at an altar: “AZNHORUM BINCLEITH IOR VANRID ECSORETH”
2. “ECTHOR!” Wizard raises arms and sparkly fire erupts on the altar.
3. A sandwich has appeared on the altar. Wizard smiles & licks lips.

I bet he’d think splitting atoms to boil water is a great idea.

2010-06-14

Beware the Vampire

Beware the Vampire

Well, there’s my take on vampires for you.

Beware the Vampire coverGet “Beware the Vampire” formatted as a minicomic with puzzle to give to trick-or-treaters, Halloween party-goers, goblins, etc.! Buy packs of “Beware the Vampire” & other Halloween comics, or right-click & download the PDF of “Beware the Vampire” to print. All I ask if you download is that you email or leave a comment to let me know you downloaded it and how many you printed & where they went (for example, “30 copies to trick-or-treaters in Putney, VT”).

It’s easy! The PDF has 2 pages which should be printed as one double-sided sheet in “landscape” format, preferably on red paper. There are 2 copies of the comic on the sheet, so cut the sheet in half (if using scissors instead of a papercutter, you may want to cut after folding). Fold the comic in half so you can’t see the covers, then on each side fold the edge next to the opening back to meet the edge with the fold, producing a little booklet with covers where you read the comic, then flip over & open the back for a puzzle! It should look like this (except a different comic, of course).  Put them under a heavy book for a while so they stay closed better.

Have a fun & spooky Halloween!

2009-09-29

Home

Home page 1

Here’s the first page of “Home”, a story from the new Trees & Hills anthology Shelter. The following four pages show the house’s life after foreclosure. “Home” was written by Trees & Hills co-founder Daniel Barlow; when the original artist wasn’t able to finish the piece, I volunteered (insanely, given everything else I had to do) to draw a quick version at the last minute. I’ll post ordering info and a page from my own story soon.

2009-09-21

A Public Service Announcement

A Public Service Announcement page 1 (cropped)

Whoah, what’s going on here?! It looked like a sort of dull installment of Spinning World, and then it got all – all sexy?

This is most of the first page of my contribution to Big Sexy, an anthology I haven’t yet mentioned that I’m co-editing. The remaining pages are way sexier than anything heretofore shown on my little website, so if you want to see the rest you’ll have to get a copy of Big Sexy (to do which you’ll need to be a legal adult). It debuts this weekend at SPX (I’ll be there), and shortly thereafter will be available through Offshore Comix online and gradually through local retailers – a mere $6 for a whopping 92 pages!

Here’s the intro I wrote for the collection:

A society’s sexual art can reveal a lot about that society beyond the “basics” of what turns its people on – which I think is why some of us have such difficulty finding pornography we can enjoy without reservations. Modern mainstream porn is the porn of a sexist, racist, class-divided society.

We want something better.

The comics in this anthology express a variety of sexuality’s many aspects: social, solitary, fantastic, realistic, straight, gay, serious, humorous, and more. What they share in common is their spirit. The artists have each drawn on their interests and values to bring us something positive. They have presented sex in ways that make sense to them.

Together they present us something we hope is much more inclusive and enjoyable than the narrow visions so often sold to us as “sexy” – a Big Sexy, with room for everyone.

2009-03-02

Great Moments In Nuclear History 6: Three Mile Island

Spinning World: Great Moments in Nuclear History 6: Three Mile Island

Hey, this month marks the thirtieth anniversary of the meltdown at Three Mile Island! Three Mile Island is often abbreviated as TMI, which nowadays also stands for Too Much Information, which is kind of funny since prior to the meltdown, plant staff had been falsifying records to avoid shutting the problem-plagued reactor down for repairs so frequently.

Spinning World appearsed each month in The Commons.

Updates 2014-06-20:

2009-02-09

Butterflies & Teapots

butterfly comic

teapot comic

How was your Groundhog Day? I hear the groundhog predicted to watch out for biting butterflies in the spring. Here are a couple more old index card comics. I didn’t finish the anthology comic I was working on during Hourly Comics Day in time for the deadline, so when I finish the last two pages we will have some Real Comics Update Action around here – hopefully kicking off a pattern of such.

2008-11-03

Thanksgiving Through The Years

Spinning World: Thanksgiving Through the Years

Transcript

Thanksgiving Through the Years

A Wamponaog adult tells a child, “We give thanks to these plants and animals who gave their lives so we may live…” Unnoticed in the background, Pilgrims appear on the horizon.

A white American man says Thankgiving grace: “We give thanks for this food to the Big Sky-Daddy who so kindly depopulated this great land for us…” Their eyes closed, none of the family yet sees the giant flying saucers in the sky outside the window.

A huge potbellied alien with spindly limbs plucks a human from a jar and says, “We give thanks to Zlarx for these delectable beings (who are also such versatile slaves)…” (“Help!” cries the human in its tiny voice.)

Notes

This month I was so busy and tired that I couldn’t bring myself to do a strip that required research, so I redrew a seasonal strip from the Keene Free Comics days. I think the new strip is clearer, but I still drew the human too small in the last panel! C’est la vie. I will have to fill in November’s Great Moments In Nuclear History at a later date.

Get this strip as part of Square Dance #4.

2008-10-27

Ask Jack

Ask Jack

Ask Jack front coverGet copies of “Ask Jack” formatted as a minicomic with puzzle to give to trick-or-treaters, Halloween party-goers, goblins, etc.! Buy packs of “Ask Jack” and other Halloween comics, or right-click & download the PDF of “Ask Jack” to print. All I ask if you download is that you email or leave a comment to let me know you downloaded it and how many you printed & where they went (for example, “30 copies to trick-or-treaters in Putney, VT”).

It’s easy! The PDF has 2 pages which should be printed as one double-sided sheet in “landscape” format, preferably on orange paper. There are 2 copies of the comic on the sheet, so cut the sheet in half (if using scissors instead of a papercutter, you may want to cut after folding). Fold the comic in half so you can’t see the covers, then on each side fold the edge next to the opening back to meet the edge with the fold, producing a little booklet with covers where you read the comic, then flip over & open the back for a puzzle! It should look like this. Put them under a heavy book for a while so they stay closed better.

Have a fun & spooky Halloween!

2008-09-15

Beach Hum preview

Beach Hum panel 1

Here’s a sample panel of a one page comic I submitted to the Always Comix “Activity” issue. I sent it in at the very last minute and haven’t heard back, so I’m not sure if I made it in; if I didn’t, I’ll post the whole thing later. If you’d like to see the whole thing, you can buy it from the Always Comix folk at SPX, or right after that at the Philly Zine Fest. I won’t be at SPX (sad!), but I will be at the Philly Zine Fest. I will also have a table at the Winchester Pickle Festival September 27, so you should come check that out; just be careful not to get pickle juice on the comics.

2008-08-01

Great Moments In Nuclear History 1

Spinning World: Great Moments in Nuclear History 1

Vermont Yankee is an aging nuclear power plant in Vernon, VT, less than 10 miles from my home. It’s current (out-of-state) parent company, Entergy, secured approval to run the plant at 120% its original rated capacity, and is trying to extend its license 20 years past the original planned shutdown in 2012. Hopefully the numerous blatant maintenance failures they’ve experienced in the last couple years will help us prevent that. Just a couple weeks ago, the plant cut back to 25% capacity because the cooling towers sprang some leaks (yes, even the repaired one that’s supposed to be totally fine after fresh inspections).

On August 6 through 9, Citizens Awareness Network will have a Walk For A Nuclear-Free Future through Vermont in honor of Hiroshima Day and Nagasaki Day.

(EDIT 8/3: Several other groups are co-sponsoring the walk. Also, CAN is now going to use this comic and the text under it on a flyer to be given away during the walk. Cool!)

Spinning World appears in The Commons and TWIG.

This comic appears in Square Dance #3.

2008-05-19

Cupcake Fate

Cupcake Fate excerpt

Here is a sample of “Cupcake Fate”, the 1-page, 48-panel multi-path comic I submitted for Secrets & Lies. Where will it all lead?

Secrets & Lies debuts at MoCCA June 7 & 8, but you can (and should) get a copy early by attending the release party 8pm May 31 at the Main Street Museum, 58 Bridge Street in White River Junction, VT. The same party celebrates the release of Colleen Frakes‘ Tragic Relief book, which should quell any doubts you may have about going. I plan to go, and so should you!

Earlier that day, I will be tabling at Broke: The Affordable Art Fair in Peterborough, NH’s Town Hall (1 Grove St.) from 10am to 4pm. The fair intends to promote innovative, affordable art outside of the traditional gallery system. It is part of the “Thing In The Spring” 3-day arts event, which will also feature concerts, movies, and more.

The weekend after that, I’ll be tabling at MoCCA in NYC, where Trees & Hills will debut its Swingin’ Hits music-themed anthology (I have a comic in it and a piece of music on the bonus CD). I should have a new minicomic out in time for either Broke or MoCCA. Whew! After that, things should quiet down for a while.

2008-02-20

Vigil

Vigil

My last entry for the Comic Rehab Ripoff – a day late, alas. I hemmed & hawed because I wanted to do a self-contained strip but had no ideas; then I got this idea but it went a little past what I had time to do yesterday. LAME, but that’s life sometimes. Yesterday was kind of an awkward day.

Anyway, the Rehab Ripoff has been a great experience for me! Thanks to Dragon Green for initiating it, and to fellow Rehabbers Jen and Patrick. I wrote a little about the experience over at comics productivity blog Make Comics Forever!!, though as the first new post there in months I doubt it’ll be read much.

This comic appears in Square Dance #3.

2007-12-05

Before Sleep 053

Before Sleep #053

I realize that it probably looks like some kind of drug action going on in the middle panel, but that being is in fact playing a slide whistle with tubing added. It’s something I saw in a book about homemade instruments – you add a stick to mark notes on, and the tubing so you can rest it on your lap and actually see the notes you’ve marked. The author claimed he thought the slide whistle was one of the most beautiful instruments when properly played. Anyway, between the unfamiliarity of that idea and the sketchy drawing, no one can actually tell that’s what it is.

2007-07-01

Make Your Own Holiday

Spinning World: Make Your Own Holiday

Transcript

Make Your Own Holiday!

A simple example: Elaine Fremont, 1985. Elaine sits bored at her desk, thinking, “No holidays in August…but I want to celebrate something!”

So…

“Are you coming to my Bonza Bottler Day party?” Elaine asks a coworker.

“Your what?” he says.

“It’s a new holiday I invented! It’s when the day and month have the same number—July 7, August 8, etc…”

“Oh…okay.”

An Australian won the naming contest&ellip; “‘Bonza’ equals Super! Great!” explains Professor Koala Bear. “‘Bottler’ equals something excellent.”

When the year’s last digit matches too (July 7, 2007; August 8, 2008; etc.), it’s a Bodacious Bonza Bottler Day, calling for increased celebration! (A made up chart here labeled “Celebration Comparison Curves” shows comparative levels of food, friends, and music.)

Now people all over the world celebrate Bonza Bottler Day! A woman on a scooter rides past a man on a bench with the Eiffel Tower in the background. “Happy Bonza Bottler Day!” they cheerfully greet each other (in French).

Now that you’ve seen how easy in can be, why not try it yourself? Traditions have to start somewhere. Experiment with the technique in other venues—when something seems lacking, take action! The results may surprise you. (The author appears, wearing a party hat and wielding a hammer and noisemaker.)

Official Bonza Bottler Day website