Today I fueled my car for the first time since March.
Why did the banker bring chicken soup to COVID-19 patients?
He wanted to fill the coughers.
(This is a reverse knock-knock joke.)
Go away! Now I have to disinfect my door. :(
How many rolls of toilet paper does it take to survive a pandemic?
ALL OF THEM
How many pandemic-deniers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fifty-one, in violation of the ban on large gatherings.
What’s the difference between COVID-19 and a baseball?
Catching a baseball is fun.
Why did the coronavirus cross the road?
To infect the other side.
There once was a coronavirus
which in a pandemic did mire us.
“Wash hands,” said the docs,
“and stay home in your socks
so the numbers infected won’t tire us.”